In December 2010, I was doing a mini segment on Marriage Miracles. Apart from the last two miracles that I shared with you, I wish to share the third one here: Never base your relationship on Lies.
It saddens me to see how a relationship can crumble based on dishonesty. Sometimes, one may think it is okay to tell a little lie to your spouse/partner but when the cat accidentally gets out of the bag, it may be too late to salvage any respect and trust.
Once that trust is broken, it is often difficult to mend. Sometimes one lie may lead to another and in the process you end up covering it up and often forget what you had told in the first place. This situation can also be applicable in friendships where you use one lie to cover another and when he/she finds out, they automatically lose whatever respect they had in you. So before lying to another, think and see if it is worth risking a beautiful relationship.
What about white lies? Some may feel that they need to “bend the truth” a little in order not to let their partner know what is exactly going on or they feel that this bending is needed to protect another person’s reputation. Again, you need to ask yourself if it is worth doing so? You may think that as long as it does not hurt the other, it is fine but bear in mind that no matter how high you leap, you will still fall and the risk of you getting caught is always there.
This dishonesty is somewhat like cheating. You are not only cheating your spouse/partner but yourself. When we choose to say our vows to our better-half, it means being there for each other in good times and in bad and no matter how bad a situation is, it is best to share it with your partner and not living in the guilt of dishonesty.
Sometimes, having the wrong company of friends is also one root of causes. If your mind is weak, you can become easily influenced and may never be able to think rationally between right and wrong. A small problem may be blown out of proportion for no reason and your friend may take advantage of the situation and pass on the wrong advice leading you to lie to your spouse/partner. Unfortunately, you may never realise that you are being taken advantage off and often couples’ relationships may break down due to this unless there is another kind soul out there who sees it and help patch the situation or give you counselling.
Remember once again that no matter how high you leap, you would fall. Think before telling a little lie or “bending the truth” as once you get caught it is never a pretty sight and may take years to build back that trust (if you are lucky) or never at all and you end up regretting. So always think before you “plan to lie!